The page you are looking for…

Never existed.

Once existed, long ago, but has been lost to the clumsy hands of time.

Is something you clearly just made up.

Is just a rumour.

I’ve got it right here somewhere… I swear!

Was only a story they told kids at camp.

Was here a minute ago but left when it saw you coming.

Went out to buy some smokes and never came back.

Died heroically in a battle to save our planet from the ravages of Xenu.

Is currently playing the lead role in the off-broadway musical version of “The Greatest American Hero”.